I was riding my bike this morning. I came up to an intersection to make a left turn. I pulled into the middle of the intersection, just like someone in a car would. As the traffic went rushing by on both sides, I started to feel a little exposed. Okay, maybe more than a little exposed. What if someone wasn’t paying attention? What if they cut someone off while changing lanes – causing someone to swerve uncontrollably into the middle of the intersection? And what if that car came careening toward me? What then?
See, when I ride my bike, I just assume the drivers are paying attention. I assume they’re not talking on the phone, texting or yelling at their kids in the back seat. I assume they’re paying as much attention to the road as I am.
And therein lies the error of my ways.
But this got me thinking about how much we pay attention in life.
When I sit in Executives Network meetings, I usually assume people are paying attention. I assume they’re paying just as much attention to the meeting as I am. I assume they’re paying just as much attention to others as they want others to pay attention to them. But now I’m thinking I couldn’t be more wrong.
Because I continually watch people not pay attention. These people are very easy to spot. I even saw one guy playing solitaire on his Blackberry during the meeting. You know what? If our meeting is going to interrupt your solitaire game, please, by all means, do us all a favor and don’t come. But here’s what this guy will never know. He’ll never know how rude I think he is. He’ll never know how much I have no interest in helping him. Because I’m afraid if I give him a networking contact, he’ll show up at the meeting and play solitaire. I can’t take the chance. Even if I’m wrong, I just can’t take the chance.
Now don’t get me wrong, I’m as guilty as the next person of not always giving everything my undivided attention. But, if you want to get good at networking, at connecting, at identifying opportunities, you need to start paying attention more closely. You need to start paying attention to the people you meet at networking functions. To the people you meet on airplanes. To the people you meet standing in line. You need to be incredibly interested in their career, their family, their life, their story. You need to listen attentively. And through listening, you’ll be able to identify some opportunities. It might be an opportunity for you, or it could be a chance to help out a friend, business associate or acquaintance.
What if we just stopped what we’re doing, and started paying attention?
Opportunity is all around us. But what if the biggest opportunity of all is simply paying attention? Because without that, it’s really difficult to figure out how to leverage an opportunity you let fly right by.
And speaking of flying right by, next time you see someone riding their bike, take the opportunity to make an extra effort to pay attention to the road, the other drivers and their safety. They’ll appreciate it more than you know!
Filed under: Job Search, Networking | Tagged: effective job search, Executives Network, get more offers, getting more referrals, job search meeting, job search meetings, landing a job, Looking for a job, mistakes, Molly Wendell, Networking, networking events, networking for job search, networking meetings, networking tips, Pitfalls, Smart Questions
Molly,
I think your blog today is spot on. I have been in a networking group for the past 8 months. It is too big. People don’t get to know each other well enough to truly help. If you make the effort to look out for the other guy/gal, then it is likely that good things will happen for you as well.
regards,
jk
Molly,
Great point. One of my biggest pet peeves is meetings where lines of thought are not not allowed to be expressed because a speaker cannot even breath without it being interpreted as ‘time for someone else to speak.’ This is especially bad when on conference calls. Seems to me to be common courtesy that you allow a person to finish a line of thought prior to responding. Content gets missed when responses are being formulated while someone else is speaking. I have actually docked people on their performance appraisals due to this obnoxious habit. I find it quite frustrating to have to start every comment with, “as I was saying.” It has been my general experience that meetings allowed to progress with this bad habit are rarely productive and serve no unifying purpose.
-sean
Sean,
Thanks for the comments. I think you’ll like my latest post on “How your conversations are keeping you from being an effective networker”
Molly
Molly,
Thanks for a great article that should be posted and required reading in corporations across the country. How many meetings have we all sat in where someone in the room spent their time texting on their cell phone, using their Blackberry, or working on their wireless laptop, ostensibly while actually paying attention to what’s going on in the room? Think what a boon to productivity and the quality of output could be realized if these practices were banned in companies; it boggles the mind!
Scott